Sunday 15 July 2012

RAGE

After chatting with @Mean_Steve and reading the Tales of Sonny and Luca  blog, I quickly realised that I RAGE quite a lot. Full on anger pants.

For example, if you're a driver and you run a red light then you're an idiot.

Unless it's a medical emergency there's no excuse for it -- even then you're likely to cause another accident. Near where we live there's a roundabout that leads directly onto a crossing. Daily, without fail, someone will come off the roundabout and run a red light. 

Sometimes they've clocked amber and tried to sneak through. When this happens I'm normally stood on the pavement asking Bug to tell me when the green man's arrived.

Mostly they are completely oblivious to the lights, often looking at pictures of things they'd like to fuck on their phone. Pictures, more likely than not, of themselves. On more than one occasion we've already started to cross when some idiot has gone through the lights.

I always wait for the green man. Traffic lights go amber then red. The green man doesn't grant permission until a few seconds after red.

Bug and I cross.

This is how long the light's been red when a car goes through it and passes within a metre of killing my daughter.

"You," I shout at the car, "are a fucking stupid cunt!"

I then look down at Bug in the sling looking back at me.

"Nose," she says while tapping said body part.

Wise beyond her year.

When out I'll sometimes have Bug in the buggy. Why don't people get out of the way when I come towards them? Lots of times people -- mainly men -- walk straight into us. I don't expect them to throw themselves to one side in an act of altruism not seen since Catherine Zeta Jones knobbed Michael Douglas, but come on. Half and half's the rule yeah? I move this way a bit, you move that way a bit. We get past without our willies touching.

Apparently not.

I'll be in the process of  'half and half' when a man simply walks into us and looks at me like I'm the mental.

I don't say anything as they're normally bigger than me.

What the do they want me to do though? Throw the buggy in the road so she can be run over by some cunt running a light just so Mr.Pavement can save a couple of inches from his day?

Why do some parents take their kids to playgroups and then abandon them in favour of tea and chat while their toddlers run around bullying the other kids? They're called 'playgroups', not 'let your child run around like a fucking psycho groups.'

Finally, some people need to keep their fucking noses out. Bear was out with Bug in the sling a few weeks back. A mum went past with her little person in a buggy. She audibly tutted to a friend and said of Bug "I bet that child can't even walk yet."

That's right. We bought a sling from Rose & Rebellion's 'Impede-a-Toddler' range. They also do one that prevents even the most rudimentary understanding of algebra.

Some people eh?

Bye for now.

PS

Don't get me started on the utterly awful Cbeebies show Me Too

PPS

Or parents that hurt their kids To judge or not to judge

PPPS

Don't get me started on most things.

5 comments:

  1. I would have to agree with everything you have written. It infuriates me as to how ignorant, selfish and inconsiderate some people are. Human beings can be so darn disappointing at times!

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    Replies
    1. I'm nowhere near perfect, I'm quite aware of that, but I do try even if I get it wrong every now and again (more now than again).

      Some people just seem perpetually inconsiderate.

      Delete
  2. I rant a lot, which I think is a less eloquent rage?

    Still chuckling at the 'jugs' story, very funny.
    I told a mother last week that she looked tasty when I meant healthy ... In my defence I was eating a chocolate hobnob ...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh no. To me, ranting is much more exclusive. Classier.

      At work the other day, a customer told my colleague that he'd just been 'looking at her rack.' He meant the DVD browsers. He got awfully embarrassed.

      Delete
  3. Parents and play groups I could rant a bit myself on that subject and as for some of the idiots on the roads. Its roundabouts that get me raging, people just cannot seem to drive round them without trying to hit every other car they happen to be near...

    Ok you got me ranting now I will go :)

    ReplyDelete