I drink a lot of fucking coffee. I don't have many cups -- maybe three a day -- but in each cup there's around 1/2 dozen spoonfuls of coffee. As we all know, 6 spoonfuls of coffee plus 6 spoonfuls of coffee plus 6 spoonfuls of coffee is approximately a lot of fucking coffee.
It's no wonder I'm raising a child that doesn't do sleep.
I hear rumours of children that do do sleep.
People often say: our son's amazing. He sleeps from 9pm until 9am.
People often say: our son's amazing. He falls asleep around 7 and wakes in his mid 30s.
Bug's never slept. She suffered from colic when wee and couldn't sleep unless held upright on our chests. Each night for four months I'd stay awake until 3am at which point I'd wake sleepy Bear so I could get some kip before work.
Bear's days started at 3 am when mine ended.
When the colic cleared, we were left with a decision to make on sleep: either we committed to sleep training, or we didn't. For those new to sleep training, here's a link to a Super Nanny explanation: Controlled Crying.
We didn't start parenting with a particular philosophy in mind. Like most things, I didn't give it any real thought until the day Bug was born, at which point it became quite important. Bear, of course, had thought about it at length and was just waiting for tell-tale signs of me panicking such as little poos dotted around the flat.
When we first started discussing sleep, I wasn't even aware that there were different approaches. I simply -- and some have called it naively -- assumed that if my daughter was upset then I'd go comfort her. It seemed the right thing to do for my child
This became my philosophy to parenting.
It's led to a lot of sleepless nights. It may also have led to a daughter that sparkles with wit, intelligence and adventure. Who really knows? Like everything, for each study you find justifying your parenting you'll find one criticising it.
All would be well, only whenever I tell people I don't do controlled crying they kindly explain to me why I'm wrong, entering territory I like to call 'None Of Your Fucking Business.'
I don't preach about how I raise Bug. If someone's having a tough time with their little person, I never say 'well, it's obviously because you're not doing it like we do.'
But people tell me. They tell me all the fucking time.
Controlled crying: Bug will never sleep without it.
Baby led weaning: she's bound to choke to death trying to swallow a pea that's not been cut up into 95 pieces.
Child care: your relationship can't possibly survive.
Sling wearing: she'll just get use to the hugs.
Seriously. I've been told Bug will get use to hugs if I carry her in the sling. Which makes me think 'what the fuck are you doing to your child if hugs are deemed a bad thing?'
Or maybe I don't. Maybe it's all pertinent.
Why do some parents feel it's okay to tell other parents they're getting it wrong?
I'd be interested to hear what you think.
Bye for now.