Tuesday, 21 February 2012

I am unintentionally raising an unintentional fascist.

Like most who subscribe to a radical authoritarian nationalist political ideology, Bug started doing Nazi salutes after copying her parent's rubbish animal impressions. For Stalin's parents it was anteaters, Idi Amin's Kingfishers. In our case: elephants.

Her first impression was of the dog. She'd say 'oof 'oof all day long, followed by 'dog' or 'doggy'. Normally it was a combination of the three. We couldn't get ten foot without her happily 'oof 'oofing to herself. People would bring their dogs up for a stroke. Bug would wag her tail. Everyone went home happy.

Then she started on elephants. She held her right arm out straight and said 'ooooh.' Every time we saw an elephant: arm outstretched followed by an 'ooooh!' And just like dogs, we get the occasional random elephant. For no reason at all: arm outstretched followed by 'ooooh!'

It was cute at first, elephant added to the dog, monkey, fish and clap clap crocodile menagerie she was perfecting. Occasionally she'd do them all at the same time and look mental. Then we began to notice elephant's similarities to the Nazi salute and when I say similarities I mean exactly the same. Try a Nazi salute yourself.

Go on.

I won't tell.

That, according to me and now my daughter, is an elephant. Easy mistake.

I dread the day we walk pass an old Jewish couple only for Bug to do random elephant. How do you explain that?

1. She loved the first two Reichs so it was only a matter of time?
2. She accidentally watched five minutes of Loose Women?
3. Sorry, she's just a bit racist?

I'm not sure. Hopefully it'll never happen.

Bye for now.



Yesterday, Tesco Man wheezed his way up three flights of stairs to deliver our shopping. Sweating profusely and impossibly close to a coronary he panted 'wouldn't you rather be at work than babysitting?' I simply said 'no.'

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